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Szmery w sercu

by SIKSA

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    CD in digipack beautifully designed by Ola Szmida & polaprojektowe

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    12" pink vinyl version of SIKSA's latest album

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Limited to 120 copies, released by Korobushka Records
    pink/purple tape with alternative cover made by Ola Szmida & Pola Projektowe

    Includes unlimited streaming of Szmery w sercu via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
We need new songs to sing We need new sons We need brand new collections of tear-proof daughters We need new survivor's songs Words tough as steel A thunder, war, beast, tough as the Phalanx faction, the Underground Dirt or liberation We need cheeky bastards who won;t hesitate enough with words I have enough of them in me and I've had enough of them Strong men, strong boys Oh, what a lovely, lovely boys: They want to speak with me about politics About war, about me Even about me Men, it’s too late It’s too late to apologise Sorry boys, this is new me made by yours My ideas are hateproof But no more songs No more songs from me to you About bla bla bla We need to bla bla bla You are bla bla bla You have to bla bla bla We need to bla bla bla Songs about bla bla bla You have to blah blah blah We need new songs but All I want to do is dance With my lover inside of me Forget to tell you My father is here Watch me dance, my old men Let's dance dancen Let's dance tancen
2.
Take a look at your personal time – it flies When for the last time in your life You listened to somebody Who called you from a battlefield Someone, who burned out ages ago and for nothing, for nothing Someone, who burned out For his tribe's sake Carrying the weight Here, take my courage and weigh it on your scale from your scale scale-whale burden-shmurden Here's my committment All but this melody Awfully simple All but this me - lo My resistance wants to be simple Like fucking Like fu-uck At the gig, I always listen to the silence Then my anger truly resounds Then you can smell the blood And gasoline and ashes and the sweating knees Conan The Barbarian
3.
Conman The Barbarian Just a silly world play for jokes Just to display my sense of humour to you, y'know As it's important in the so-called hard times To share simple things And it simply amuses me Conman The Barbarian Let me just give myself a permission To speak out what's been left unsaid I wanna know that I can do it and so can you What? To never speak again I want to be able to display my darker side Cause happiness is wrong Inevitable And when there's happiness, it's bad So keep it in your zipper where it belongs Zip up, dummy, I'm not your mummy Maybe it's a good time not to put the blame For everything that's happening On us here congregated This is what the government wants! That's what the Man wants! That's God's will! Hiya, what's up? I miss you so much You never have the time! You don't pick up the phone! I don't pick up? Let's not pick up signals Beep beep beep Beeps from creeps, beeps from eee-ooo eee-ooo Let's numb everything with our bodies warmth let's numb everything with our body odours Let's numb everything what reaches what discomforts what pressurizes let us numb all this shit to hell let's numb all this room with our voices only you and me We are the rescue Let's talk like a dog to a dog there's too much of us on this Earth They said Fuck me I am the beauty of the night
4.
if I have something to say, I will say it in the world; if I can’t say it in the world, I will say it in my country; if I can’t say it in my country, I will say it in my city if I can’t say it in my city, I will say it in my home if I can’t say it in my home, I will say it to myself
5.
I've announced the closure of Museum of Cruelty before My own personal cruelty museum I've shut it down to your expletive's spell the last ones that still hurt me You know my past which doesn't mean you know me Come and I'll tell you a story About fear and feeling powerless And only sometimes I still tear myself loose to the air To my brave self my fighter self my incessant self And I never forgive never accept I accept nothing I don't listen to myself preaching And you being so intelligently mocking You - now a distant person to me you distant people – you are far away I have other friends My Lovers Army you're close to me and I've always dreamed about my family who every Christmas hides in their homes from whom, you'll ask I'll gladly respond from our parents lt's sit together one day and tell our stories how once we fought with ghosts – our parents And only sometimes I still tear myself loose to the air To my brave self my fighter self my incessant self
6.
Cordial welcome to the closure of my personal cruelty museum You're cordially welcome all ribbons are cut Close all cruelty museums to hell! Your cruelty museum hasn't been open to me You never tell me anything I can only try to figure it out In that sense I confirm the rule: this game ain't for the girls. The war will be over when the dreams come back But now sleep sleep already don't fall asleep I'm scared you'll fall asleep and die in your sleep Like children or old people the war will be over, you'll sleep and I'll wake up with a panicky thought that everything I've done for you is a playlist for your funeral darling so please let's not go to that war I promise I won't go As you actually never asked me to I promise we'll stay home tonight look, I'm dancing just for you in the middle of the room with yesterdays panties on Look, dancing just for you don't tell me anything and I know you won't I know You're sad, lonely That only I can make you happy And only I can take it away I dose you on happiness War is my addiction I'm a veteran, who'll never get a medal For all the libido lost in battlefield Our love is a story about me which you listen to constantly Nobody wanted to listen to you This is not the time for stories about boys Who don't want to cite Borges There's only hip hop you dislike if it doesn't step away from just rap like jazz So let us not try too hard like you in your stories which won't be actualized because you're too old-fashioned for our times Though I prefer when you tell me about contemporary times than to listen to it dictated by an alternative pixie girl I can only promise you That I will always remain with you in this underground We are under the ground, honey Forever We are under the ground Let’s show them what is real underground Or not cause they gonna ruin us They gonna bury bury Let’s leave the main terms Let’s leave the main topics This is us showing you the last lovers Before the final Rape / Rave
7.
Handicapped dogs Crooked pines Useless But real The fiddler will craft a nice little song from it Weeping, sweeping landscape The one we truly deserved
8.
I shall not hide my desire of silence with music I shall not express it with volume-speaking silence I won't dance, as I'm not a dancer I won't dance away my silence to you I will not fill this emptiness that inside me became a sound As you never liked that sound in particular I will not deceive you with the range Because you know better than me I've got no range I will not tell you about my childhood Because I don't want to think about it anymore Now is your turn, go ahead We don't have all the time in the world My greatest act of courage was coming up to the stage in 2019 and not pretending that I'm the new Alexandria I will repeat My greatest act of courage was coming up to the stage in 2019 and not pretending that I'm the new My greatest act of courage was coming up to the stage when there was nothing left to do And that's what I think: my greatest act of courage is not saying anything And yet I shall take up this conversation, instead of throwing down the gauntlet I won't shout anymore I won't Let's leave each other in peace And this is the real test If we can still listen to one another: what's up there with you, what's up? When the conversation is not about the great things About little violence, about big traumas This is the real test If we can still listen to one another How somebody feels And why he's not saying And why I'm not saying Ask me how I'm feeling I shall reciprocate it the same way Let's talk to one another Without the storm cloud of pressure above us That we can only speak about things important Carefully choose words let's begin this conversation with sounds That gives us pins and needles Only you and me A rescue for us is us Let us talk like dogs do There's too much of us in this world Let us begin this conversation I never wanted to be born Ask me if I want to be still alive Ask me
9.
How am I What's up there with me The revolution won't be a music gig I'm very busy – though not much is happening Didn't have the time to have a proper look at it For a long while I didn't have the time to think over What's been up What's been up with me Taking the benefit from my screentime though, I'll tell you about the war that I've lived through or maybe I won't Maybe I've already talked about it too much and enough My war is over I know a war of some kind will always be ongoing But I've returned from mine I feel like a vet and here's my PTSD effects with all the lovely additions Flashbacks, nightmares, being overly sensitive, overly dramatic reactions, oversensitivity, bursts of anger boom boom boom For many years I've avoided talk about my personal catastrophe Then for several years I've talked about it Bursting in turns in tears and anger What you have all witnessed maybe I've experienced some permanent change of personality Hence my incapacity to discuss subjects that I used to and bidding farewell to katharsis Because katharsis cannot be just given away katharsis doesn't need me anymore Trench neurosis – neurosis after spending too much time on the battlefield Soldier’s heart – a sensitive one Shell shock My heart exploded I can't just replace it with another one My heart exploded 22 push ups for war veterans I can't just replace it 22 push ups for war veterans Therapeutic asylum for veterans To help the vets, to help The boom boom boys Let them thrash each other I'm a war vet a hardened one with a sprained soul They won't write this about me So I'll do it myself I've acquitted myself and maybe everything I did it's just encouragment for you to acquit yourself too I'm no longer self-flagellating But I'll ask you for a minute of silence when I'll say: Revolution will not happen during this gig Revolution will happen They will be standing far away from us, hung on their rosaries Watching as we die, one by one They will be standing far away from us, hung on their rosaries I'm alive – and well I don't know what to tell you besides the simplest, unrevolutionary things a dog, buckwheat, jasmine rice, the smell of chickpea and dog's favorites What's up with me, besides simplest unrevolutionary things: He is and I'm with him, we've met during the war, planted bombs together a boom boom boy My holy guardian angel I dunno how am I, besides the simplest unrevolutionary things I'm only concerned about him ever dying, and the dog When I was a kid, before I was going to check on my parents in their bedroom, if they're still alive I've prayed for very long My holy guardian angel Please dear god bless this food My holy guardian angel So I guess this is how I am. that's all, nothing much. And when I'll learn myself anew Then maybe we'll meet again or maybe we won't
10.
If it's as they say then do not hesitate and drop me somewhere far away in Czechia If it's as they say then do not hesitate and drop me somewhere far away in Czechia Maybe there, far away Some destiny still awaits me Or maybe somewhere close Just the opposite from my house or maybe in your head It can tell you certain things about me You'll tell it back to me again Something about me and somehting about you and if it won't then I won't hesitate and drop (a bomb on) myself somewhere far away in Czechia and if it won't then I won't hesitate and drop (a bomb on) you somewhere far away in Czechia

about

„Szmery w sercu / Murmur of the Heart” was 6th season of SIKSA’s life. It was performed live 37 times in Poland, Germany, Slovakia and France since 23.08.2019 till 03.10.2020

Recorded in Berlin / october 2020

credits

released September 17, 2022

Vinyl release later this year by Antena Krzyku

Rec/Mix/Prod: Konstanty Usenko / N0 TENG0 PATRiA
Mastering: Mustache Ministry Studio
Antena Krzyku 2022
Cover Art: Ola Szmida & Pola Projektowe
English translation: Agata Pyzik

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SIKSA Poland

SIKSA is a feminist duo arranged for voice, bass, lyrics and bodies. Their concerts combine the energy of a punk, performative poetry or contemporary dance. In the limitations of the instruments and stage presence, the duo finds the strength to carve their own path. In this work, the personal meets the political, and the unspoken meets the deafening. ... more

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